Discover Your Values: A How-to Guide
Values are a set of principles that are most important to us. They represent what we’re here to stand for to uphold our idea of truth and love.
Are you living in alignment with your values or do you have a fuzzy idea of what they are? If you don’t know, that’s okay.
After answering these 5 questions, you’ll gain a deeper understanding of what’s most important to you and topics you may want to explore further.
Grab your journal and let’s get started.
QUESTION 1: What makes you angry about the world? What do you notice that triggers you? Is there anything that people say or do that annoys you?
Write down everything that comes to mind and then refine it down to your top 3.
For example, I get annoyed by people who complain about their health issues but don’t do anything beyond seeing their doctor about it.
Now look at your answers and ask yourself:
QUESTION 2: What is it specifically about [my response] that really annoys me?
For example, I’m annoyed by the “helpless victim” mindset related to health because:
I don’t like relying on someone else to tell me about my body
I don’t like medications or surgeries as the first option
I get frustrated when people have a lack of awareness around their bodies
I believe our bodies are very intelligent and that illness is a sign we’re living off track
As you can see, there are many reasons why something might annoy us.
A big reason why something triggers us is because it mirrors our own unhealed wounds. In my case, my annoyance at the “victim” mindset triggers my own deep feelings of feeling vulnerable and helpless.
On the flip side, our deepest wounds are also the seed of our biggest potential. So what’s the opposite of feeling vulnerable and helpless? Feeling empowered and responsible.
Now I want you to flip your answer and ask yourself the following:
QUESTION 3: If [reason] really annoys me, what does that suggest I value?
Again with my example, the “victim” health mindset annoys me because I have the following values:
I value self-empowerment and self-healing
I value awareness and respect for our bodies
I value awareness of our emotions and being responsible for our energy
Write out the underlying values for at least 3 of your “annoyances”. Are they all different or is there a theme?
QUESTION 4: If my voice could be heard all over the world, what topics would I speak about?
Your values are your perspective of truth and love. It doesn’t mean that you’re right and they’re all wrong.
While there are many people who may speak on the same topic, nobody has the combined life experience and personality that you do.
You emanate a special frequency for just the right audience who share the same values. Not everyone will agree with you and that’s okay!
Ask yourself the following:
What could you teach people?
What topics do you want to learn more about and could talk about all day?
How could you be of service to others around this topic?
How could you help those that trigger you? Because they’re really showing you what you’re passionate about. They’re a gift in disguise.
In my example, I know that for people to start self-healing, they’ve got to feel inspired to find out more about themselves rather than be blamed for their health issues. Blame and shame might create temporary changes but inspiration leads to lasting transformation.
QUESTION 5: What’s really important to me?
Think about all of the things in your life that are important to you. Don’t filter the list or criticize yourself, just write down as many things as you can. Try and write down at least 20 things. There are no right or wrong answers. Your aim is just to write.
Now...
Circle the top 10 on the list.
Then refine it to the top 5.
For example my top 5 values summed up in one word are relationships, empowerment, simplicity, authenticity, and revolution.
Summary
Here are the 5 questions again to help you discover your values:
QUESTION 1: What makes you angry about the world? What do you notice that triggers you? Is there anything that people say or do that annoys you?
QUESTION 2: What is it specifically about [my response] that really annoys me?
QUESTION 3: If [reason] really annoys me, what does that suggest I value?
QUESTION 4: If my voice could be heard all over the world, what topics would I speak about?
QUESTION 5: What’s really important to me?
Next Steps
When you have your values down, you’re ready for the next exercise. I call this The Big 5—your bucket list of achievements that guides you in reverse engineering your life.
The Big 5 builds on what you’ve discovered here. It fires me up every time I read it and always brings me back to what’s essential. Read about it here.
