What 90 Days of Daily Breathwork Taught Me: How a simple daily practice shifted the way I relate to myself, my work, and ordinary life
As a conscious connected breathwork facilitator, I love the breath. I’ve explored many modalities in my personal healing journey, but there is nothing more simple, powerful, and accessible than the breath.
In the past, I’ve experienced breathwork anywhere from sporadically, weekly, monthly in group ceremonies, and three times daily on retreat. This is the first time I completed a solo practice for 20 minutes twice daily for 90 days. This conscious connected breath is a gentle rhythm that quickly surfaces old patterns ready to be witnessed.
I decided to invite another breathwork practitioner to do this alongside me for accountability and support, and together we completed this practice using the book The Presence Process by Michael Brown as our weekly guide.
I felt moved to share what I learned.
A Natural Turning Inward
I felt a natural turning inward during this process. I had less interest in accomplishing outer achievements or wanting to lead others and became interested in what I could receive from myself.
I learned to open, allow, and receive the breath as a big YES to life. Breathing became a form of devotional prayer.
Consistency Over Intensity
A daily practice built my present moment awareness muscle so I could use it in real life. There were days where lots moved during the session, but more often the test came in real life, dealing with real triggers. I became more aware of my thoughts and feelings throughout the day.
Doing this practice for 90 days really solidified a good habit that I can carry into my life now. I remember at day four thinking, “Can I really do this for 86 more days?” And yes. Here I am.
I used to chase intense, transformative experiences because they made me feel like I was really changing quickly. But life is showing me now that consistency over intensity offers me even more growth. I don’t need a strong plant medicine to crack me open (and make me vomit). There’s so much to learn if I see ordinary life as the training ground and focus on a consistent daily practice to build my present moment awareness. This means bringing conscious breathing into as many waking moments as possible - a form of mindfulness.
Devotion Instead of Obligation
Approaching my daily practice with obligation versus devotion made all the difference. With obligation, my mind wandered and it became another thing on the list to complete. I wouldn’t go very deep. I was just going through the motions and looking at my watch. When I came with an openness and beginner’s mind, with the attitude of, “I’m grateful for this time with myself. Let’s see what’s here today,” time flew, I enjoyed the process, and more would be revealed.
For most of the practice I breathed twice daily, but as a mom with two young children, my evening practice eventually felt like an obligation I was fitting in around bedtime. I let this one go when necessary and focused on giving my full attention to my morning practice.
I was never a morning person until becoming a mom. The early morning silence fills me more than the world can. Getting up early feels like a luxury, and I do my best to prioritize my health and sleep so I can wake up early feeling energized. It’s how I’m able to write here and it’s how I start the morning on my terms, before the day gets filled up.
Devoting time to my spiritual life first thing each morning put the rest of my life in perspective. I could see things from a more zoomed-out, loving and patient view.
The Value of Practicing Together
As this was my first solo attempt, having a partner was the right choice to help me stay accountable and consistent. We dropped emojis into WhatsApp every time we completed a practice. We were able to debrief at the end of each week and see how the process was working in each of our lives. It was incredible how we were in sync at times with our highs and lows.
It was also refreshing to speak openly about our triggers from a self-responsible and curious lens rather than venting and blaming. I’m realizing that it’s less about the destination and more about who I’m doing life with. I want to be part of a community that is self-empowered and curious about the deeper meaning of life.
The Teaching That Stayed With Me
The Presence Process book that accompanied my breathwork practice had one central teaching:
Get the message
Dismiss the messenger
Work with the felt resonance of the message
In other words, life is full of upsets, and we can use every opportunity to turn them into fuel for our growth. Whether it’s our parents, siblings, colleagues, or friends, the circumstances that trigger us are the universe in disguise, reflecting back to us our limitations repeatedly until we learn the lesson. Instead of blaming them, we acknowledge them and dismiss them, then get curious about what this brings up in our bodies and how the feeling is simply a repeating resonance from childhood or from the adults we were raised around.
This is a whole topic in itself that I want to write about.
Breathwork as an Anchor
Breathwork is like a shower for my physical and energy body. It energizes and opens me and is the perfect practice before I channel. Developing that connection to my inner guidance is why I have a spiritual practice in the first place. I need to hear my own inner voice and the Divine in a world full of noise and distraction. It’s what keeps me rooted in my values and offers the guidance and safety that I need.
My nervous system loves stability through predictability, probably because there are many moving parts in other aspects of my life. A simple daily practice is like giving the divine mystic in me a place in modern life. Sometimes I would spend time with the human parts that were hurting, and sometimes the more expanded, wise and timeless Self.
Even after this solo experiment, I still love group breathwork for community and sharing in our collective human experience. A solo practice is what anchors peak experiences like group retreats and one-off experiences into everyday life.
I’m Still Just as Human
You may think this process makes you more Zen and untouchable, but when the heart opens, you feel more. You learn to ride the emotional waves and stay in the discomfort until it completes. It’s a vulnerable place. But I’m learning to be my own best friend in those moments instead of turning against myself, and that’s the difference.
The Lighthouse Path
This experiment was a practice of embodiment over acquiring more knowledge. It was a true lighthouse path. How I show up for myself will always be more powerful than how many people I help. And the deeper I embody my values, the more that’s naturally felt by others as an invitation for them to do the same. It’s what I call quiet leadership. It’s a much more efficient way of using my energy to help.
Grieving the Carrot
Lastly, I’m in an inward transition of what I’ll call grieving the carrot.
I’ve lived most of my life chasing the next achievement and wanting more recognition. That was the dangling carrot that kept me passionate and curious about healing, but my old inner motivation is unravelling, and breathwork has been a big part of that.
It’s funny when you start to realize there’s no perfect future that you need to rush toward and that you don’t have to make yourself overly available to others. It’s okay to enjoy a quieter, simpler life.
Sometimes a dark cloud from this old self comes around saying, “Oh, this is it? This is life? What’s it all for if there’s no recognition? I’m bored.”
But in the next moment a new, more childlike self says, “Oh, this is it! I have this one chance to add beauty and love to this world. It can feel like play, and I don’t need anyone’s approval. I’m bringing Heaven to Earth.”
If I Had to Summarize These 90 Days...
Breathwork had a quiet way of building self-awareness so I could be more awake to growth opportunities in ordinary life. It taught me that transformation isn't always found in chasing bigger experiences, but in making small self-honouring choices daily that I may not have otherwise noticed. Ordinary life is where my deepest spiritual practice happens as I turn triggers into wisdom. More than anything, these 90 days taught me that the relationship I'm cultivating with myself is the foundation for every other relationship in my life.
Do you have a daily spiritual practice, and how has that shaped you?
